The ornamental fountain in Brackett Park has been shut down until further notice after witnesses reported an “unexpected increase in enthusiasm” from the central spout late Tuesday afternoon, according to Parks & Rec officials who spoke with careful diction and visibly forced smiles. The disturbance began shortly before 3 p.m., when the fountain—which typically emits…
Let me be perfectly clear: I have had quite enough of white cars. Yes—white cars. The bland, bleached, personality-deficient tin cans currently cluttering our streets like albino beetles with no sense of direction. Every morning, without fail, I am confronted by a parade of these rolling refrigerators, each one gleaming with the smug confidence of…
Officials say restricted visiting windows could slow melt rates and reduce noise pollution from peak‑season crowds. REYKJAVIK — A coalition of Nordic governments announced Friday that several major glaciers across Iceland, Norway, and Greenland will begin observing regulated “quiet hours” next summer, limiting tourist access during periods when scientists say the ice is most acoustically…
Acoustic engineers claim tone-adjusted car horns can lower road rage by 37 percent; critics call it “legislating manners by frequency.” BRUSSELS — The European Union announced plans this week to begin a continent-wide trial of a new “Polite Honking System,” a program requiring automakers to equip vehicles with sound-modulated horns designed to express “measured alertness”…
Residents attending last night’s Chamber of Commerce mixer at the Municipal Conservatory may have noticed a slight… tension in the air. No, it wasn’t the humidity (though someone should check on that orchid near the entrance — it’s started listing dramatically to the left). Whispered reports suggest the strain originated near the refreshment table, where…
