Good morning, my valiant early risers. The city has greeted today with the same measured restraint as a toddler on espresso. Our headline caper takes us to the Eastside Dog Park, where someone erected a tiny, velvet-roped VIP section complete with a bouncer stool and a clipboard. Several very confused corgis were turned away for…
Good morning, my fabulous insomniacs and early birds—whichever tribe you belong to, rest assured the city did not behave itself overnight. Let’s begin with the Riverview Museum, where the gala committee unveiled the theme for their winter fundraiser: “A Night of Historical Accuracy.” Admirable in theory, catastrophic in execution. Staff arrived yesterday to find a…
Residents attending last night’s Chamber of Commerce mixer at the Municipal Conservatory may have noticed a slight… tension in the air. No, it wasn’t the humidity (though someone should check on that orchid near the entrance — it’s started listing dramatically to the left). Whispered reports suggest the strain originated near the refreshment table, where…
