After six months of planning, two committee name changes, and one very focused debate about font choice, Maple Crossing officially unveiled its new “Welcome” sign on Main Street last Friday. By Monday morning, residents had already adapted by not seeing it at all. The sign, positioned prominently at the town’s eastern entrance, features the town…
The town’s newest crosswalk, unveiled Tuesday morning at the intersection of Pine and Absolutely-Too-Busy-For-This, has achieved what officials are calling “a rare moment of civic balance” by confusing drivers, pedestrians, cyclists, and one mail carrier in exactly the same way. The crosswalk, painted in a bold pattern of white stripes, diagonal chevrons, and what appears…
A smooth, oblong stone discovered last Thursday on Elm Street has become the center of a swirling debate after residents reported that it “gives off a vibe,” prompting the Public Works Department to issue an official statement assuring the public that the rock is “almost certainly not alive.” The object—nicknamed Rocky Balboa until legal counsel…
In yet another triumph of bureaucracy over basic attention spans, the Fairglen Town Council unanimously approved a permit Monday night for an event no one present could recall submitting, reading, or pronouncing with confidence. The approved item—The Third Annual Spoon & Balloon Jubilee—passed without discussion, debate, or even a raised eyebrow. The problem? Fairglenners have…
MAPLEFORD — Local resident and aspiring novelist Gerald “Soft Keys” Penwarden stirred both curiosity and skepticism this weekend with the bold assertion that he has invented the quietest typewriter ever produced by human hands. The claim was made Saturday at the Mapleford Community Centre Craft Fair, moments before a crowd gathered around what appeared to…
