Transit officials briefly cordoned off Bay Platform C on Thursday morning after an unattended umbrella positioned itself at a “decidedly purposeful angle,” prompting what one supervisor called “a disproportionate degree of municipal concern.”
The object—a plain black model with a modest wooden handle—was first spotted propped upright near the timetable kiosk, its canopy furled but slightly quivering, despite the absence of any discernible draft. Commuters initially assumed a rider had stepped away, but suspicion grew when the umbrella rotated several degrees to face each incoming bus with quiet, deliberate precision.
Depot Manager Harlan Veeg indicated that protocol required treating the situation with “measured seriousness,” though he admitted the umbrella emitted “no ticking, hissing, or other traditionally worrisome signals.” He also clarified that the item refused to topple, even when approached by a cautious broom.
A small crowd formed as authorities debated how best to retrieve the object. Witnesses reported that each time an official neared the umbrella, its tip angled almost politely toward them—an act both welcoming and unnerving, depending on who described it. One commuter claimed the gesture resembled “a greeting from someone who has read about humans but never met one.”
After twenty-two minutes of discussion, a junior transit aide simply picked the umbrella up, finding it “light, warm, and humming faintly like a distant radiator.” With no owner forthcoming, it was placed in Lost & Found, where staff report it has since remained perfectly still—though facing the door.
Bus schedules have returned to normal, albeit with slightly wider berth around unattended personal items.
